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Archive for the ‘Self Improvement’ Category


Getting Yourself Going When You Simply Feel Flat

There are occasions when we simply feel lifeless – perhaps not dejected, disillusioned or depressed, just lifeless, energy-less and disinterested. And even though I’ve been teaching my many personal development clients how to start each day by focusing their minds – and I do it myself – sometimes, within no time at all, one ends up feeling, like, ‘I wish I wasn’t here!’ or ‘I just don’t feel like doing this!’ I’m not talking about things going wrong during the day, I’m simply referring to what one client described like this: ‘I get into my office, full of beans, I sit down at my desk, start going through my emails and, suddenly, I’m in this kind of daze.’

What takes the wind out of our sails so effortlessly? How come we can be so fired up one minute and then suddenly so flat? Well, the answer is all too simple – flat is your default state of mind. Yeah, believe it or not, research explains that only the very rare person is tuned in sufficiently to actually be appropriately attentive and focused to get through the normal day effectively. As if that wasn’t enough, research also proves that, left to its own devices, our minds simply drift into negativity. It’s how we’re hard-wired – and all the personal development or self improvement in the world won’t personal development or self improvement isn’t going to change the hardware.


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Practical Self Help Tips: Taking A Breather

Almost as soon as the day swings into action it’s very easy to get swept away by the routine, the urgent (not necessarily the important), the latest minor crisis or, most common of all, self-defeating thinking. And even though you may have started your day properly, it is all too easy to become submerged and go back to our default state of unfocused mindlessness.

So, for a start, what does starting your day properly mean? Well, we make certain that we don’t leave the house physically unprepared for the day ahead. We wash and dress ourselves – shaving or applying the odd dab of make-up as required! Conversely, we automatically leave the house in the morning mentally unprepared for what is lying in waiting. Starting the day properly means ensuring that, before you leave the house, you’ve taken the appropriate step or steps to clear your mind and focus your energy. I suggest five to ten minutes mental preparation for the day ahead. Find somewhere where you won’t be disturbed, sit and focus on what your senses are telling you – one sense at a time. This ensures that you’re focused on what is really going on rather than on the subconscious programs that otherwise run your life – those programs being your default state of mind.


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Self-Help: You’re Not Your Behaviour

Normal behaviour is rarely appropriate. How could it be! Because normal behaviour is created automatically – you don’t have to think about it, you just react – by your subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind is highly efficient at enabling you react – it is this ability that has got us so far as the ‘superior’ species. But, as I said, normal behaviour is rarely appropriate – because the subconscious mind is permanently focused in the past – your formative years – and it uses this past ‘stored knowledge’ to dictate today’s automatic behaviour. With information that is way past its sell-by date being used to enable you react, how is your behaviour going to be appropriate to what is actually going on now?

How could it be right and proper when you understand that the normal person is constantly on automatic pilot? Unfortunately, it’s just the way we’re built. If you’re having a good day, your behaviour may be mildly effective – that’s compared to how effective you could actually be had you taken the trouble to pay attention and act, rather than react. But even then, normal people only have good days every so often. It’s the normal not-too-bad days that have consigned your life to that repetitive, mundane, not-so-bad life – you know, the one where good stuff almost never happens, the one where you’re unhappy in your work or the one where your relationship has gone flat – the ordinary stuff of everyday life. And on those everyday not-so-bad days, your behaviour can be anything from midldly in-effective to inappropriate to completely outrageous. People losing their cool in traffic jams, people who bully their workmates or who play with their workers’ lives. Husbands who beat wives, wives who beat husbands – or just the normal not-so-bad apathy of ‘I wish I was doing something else’ and all the stress that that brings with it.


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A Clear Mind And Happiness

Are you happy with your life or, indeed, with yourself? I bet that there are things that you would want to change about both you and your life – I’ve rarely encounter anybody who is unconditionally happy. Of course, people often believe that if they improve themselves, get fit, buy a new car, go on a great holiday that, then, they will find happiness. That kind of ‘happy’, however, is transient and superficial. Real happiness must be lasting and not based on having this or doing that.

The one place that you find happiness is within. However, that is a bridge too far for the vast majority of people[spin] because the normal person’s ‘within’ is [spin]hidden from them by what psychologists call ‘The Sentry’, a defence mechanism that we’ve all got that prevents anybody else getting into our subconscious minds where they would then be able to brainwash us. Unfortunately, this ‘Sentry’ keeps us out too! And with good reason – or, at least, it appears like a good idea until you venture a closer look at how we operate – our beliefs about how the world operates and ourselves are stored in our subconscious. You wouldn’t want to go messing with those, would you? Or would you? Because most of us believe ourselves to be inadequate at least in some aspect of our lives, most of us are not one hundred percent happy with who we think we are. That’s because our beliefs are not grounded in fact but on a build-up of what could be termed the conditioning or programming that we were subject to during what you might call your formative years. This programming or conditioning is the source of both your unease with yourself and, just as importantly, everything that you believe to be wrong in your life.


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Is Your Life Ruined By Nerves, Worry, Stress?

Do you ever feel tense or anxious? Do you regularly worry? Do you suffer from your nerves? Do you get easily ruffled? Do you feel that you suffer from stress? If you perceive yourself to be suffering from any of these problems, then you’re letting your mind play tricks on you. The inner you cannot be anxious, nervous, stressed or fearful. The real you is simply not capable of suffering from stress or worry. All these afflications are symptoms of an over-active personality – when you feel any of these symptoms, it’s only your personality tripping you up.

What you must realize is that your personality – from the Latin persona, meaning a mask – is nothing more than a mask that not only conceals the inner you from everybody else, it has misled you into believing that it is, in fact, who you are. However, psychology explains that your personality is an accumulation of snapshots of events and people that made an impression on you when you were a young child – what we normally call our formative years. You snapped photos of these things because they were big enough to make you feel good or bad about yourself at the time. Unfortunately, psychology also tells us that the normal mind is much more likely to dwell on the negative rather than the positive snapshots.


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